Author: Goose

If you are looking for a new artist, Juice WRLD is the hottest shit right now. All Girls Are The Same and Lucid Dreams are singles that have made Spotify playlists. The album offers more then just that with singing and more hard hitting bangers.

Give the album a listen on Spotify or Apple Music!

With Post Malone’s new sad boy music album, I need something new from Post. Not that it wasn’t a good album, but I need something from Murda Beatz and Post. Now, Murda Beatz latest work was Nice For What. If you haven’t heard this song its just trap beats over Lauryn Hill ex-factor. If you don’t believe me go give that song a listen.

Now, what I would like Murda Beatz and Post Malone to do is the song Rockstar by Nickelback. I don’t care what you have to say about Nickelback cause if you put Post’s vocals on it it will hit top 25 no doubt. Murda Beatz please just throw some trap on the production of Rockstar. Post can then get in the studio and just master that song with the same lyrics.

Don’t tell me you wouldn’t want to hear Post singing “Cause we all just wanna be big Rockstars….. driving 15 cars.” Post sings all the time about gold digger’s and I’m sure Post wouldn’t mind some bleach blond Playboy models. I mean this could be the biggest hit of the summer. It’s a perfect  combination of Post Malone and the Oldies. I think this is a 90’s kids wet dream.

Please share with Murda Beatz and Post, so we can make this happen.

Now, I don’t want to jump the shark here, but Lebron was dishing out more dimes then Kris Jenner tonight. Teammates actually hit shots too. If you were to look at the Cavs as a whole team other than Lebron, its a group of rec league basketball players. Just throwing this out there if the Cavs need a spot up shooter, I will accept a 10 day minimum contract.  I haven’t played rec league since 8th grade, but I would give you at least 1 point and 6 hard fouls. In grade school, I sat on the bench A LOT. However, when coach needed a shutdown defender I was getting some time on the hardwood.

Besides the point of me trying to get a ten day contract, Lebron IS going to make this group of rec league basketball player Eastern Conference Finals Champs. You just can’t stop the king. It’s actually kinda funny when you think about it. Yeah, we will probably get swept in the Finals, but who cares. I think he just likes taking a group of scrubs to the finals.

Lebron if you are reading this don’t pass the ball in one of the games. All you need is to drop 60 and the sports world will go nuts. You can then get swept and go to whichever team you want and win a Finals then. There is no pressure on the King.

UP 3-1 in the Conference Finals. Some people, who are stupid, are saying this looks stupid for the NHL that an expansion team could make it this far in the playoffs. This is the best thing for the NHL. People wouldn’t care if it was a team from Canada. Just the neighbors up north that come out of the womb with skates on. It would just come down to yeah Canadian teams should need up in the Stanley Cup. Now, Vegas is probably the most fun you will have as an adult. Just think of the after parties in Vegas after they win this series.

People just need to shut up and enjoy the Golden Knights playoff perfection. I don’t think there is a better place to win a Stanley Cup. Just think of all the gross places that Cup will be within the first 48 hours. It might have more STD then a ASU college student. I just feel bad for the players under 21. I’m sure the veterans can drop you off at a day/nightcare.

Formal in college is just high school homecoming without the parental supervision. I know most of you drank and hooked up in during homecoming anyway, but formal is on another level.

1. Girlfriend or Boyfriend

Now, when I say girl you can interchange that will boy just for simpler writing I’m going to type girl. This date is just a form of a weekend get away for the both of them. The closest thing I can compare this to is parents getting a hotel for the weekend. If they request their own room you know they are hooking up that night.

2. Girl you meet that semester

This could be the most exciting and the biggest let down. Spending time with the person before formal gives you a sense of what to expect. If you are already hooking up, you can look to spice is up in the bed room; its always ass eating season. If you aren’t hooking up look to make a move. Maybe you open doors that show you the best sexual experience of your life. Formal brings out spontaneous sexual freaks.

3. Friend of a Friend

This one is short. If you are looking for some basic casual sex then this is your pick. You don’t want to be the laughing stock of the house for the next semester, so I wouldn’t tell her you have a piss fetish. Maybe you friend is taking a girl and she wants to bring a friend. Also, you can just black out if you want to. Very low expectations on both sides. If you do end up having sex, you will definitely be having sex with your friend and their date in the room. Who knows maybe you will be having sex at the same time?

4. Freshman

If you are a freshman, what better way to dive head first into an all you can drink extravaganza. Take another freshman. Most of you probably don’t know how to close so just take a breather and control that weiner or kitty Kat. Another way to be the laughing stock of the night is to be caught with a boner on the party bus. Drink that boner away and just enjoy the party. This is pretty much you reliving high school homecoming, except you can show your true self and not be an awkward fuck.

5. Solo

Drink away. If you are lucky you can steal (shark) the date of freshman, which is probably one of the funniest things to do during a formal.

(Disclaimer: Assuming all participants are 21 and over)