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On spring break, I happen to be bumping a lot of 50 Cent. You know the throwbacks. The rap music now is just not worth the play time when I’m sipping my Naturdays. However, while I was drunk, the saying became “What the fuck is 50 cent up to now a day?” And boy did the news just break!

I wish this blog would bring me in millions of dollars, but it doesn’t. 50 Cent just sold his $15 million house for $2.9 million. This house has a night club inside of it. That was definitely the first thing installed in the house after he had bought it from Mike Tyson. This house has everything that you could imagine. 19 bedrooms and 25 bathrooms. I’m try to get in there and party likes it your birthday. Watch this video and let me know you favorite part in the comments!

At least the sale wasn’t just because 50 Cent was broke. He’s out here doing big things cause he isn’t getting any of the money from the house sale. It’s all going to charity, which is amazing.

At least now, I can answer my question.

“What the fuck is 50 Cent up to now a day?”

Letting the kids play! That’s what the fuck he is up to!

“Eggs” are considered part of a healthy breakfast and must be added to nearly every baked recipe in the kitchen. You feed “eggs” to your friends and family often. But what part of the food pyramid are they?

A simple fool once told me that they believed that “eggs” were a part of the dairy group. This is a more common misconception than one would assume. This is because “eggs” are usually bought from the grocery store in the dairy section. But everybody knows that the source of all dairy products is the nipple. “Eggs” normally come from a chicken and from personal experience, chickens do not have nipples big enough to plop out an “egg”. In fact, they do not have nipples at all. Chickens actually poop the “eggs” out of their anus. (This fact has been confirmed. Chickens lay “eggs”, poop, and urine out of the same hole.)

The United States Department of Agriculture classifies “eggs” as a part of the meat group. This is a logical placement due to the fact that “eggs” are essentially really young baby chickens. But of course, this is an incorrect grouping for this “food”. This is due to the fact that there is a far better option to group these things.

The next step of my research journey took me to the fats and oils group. This is because during a recent research session, the innards of an “egg” had been leaked all over me. Due to the oily touch and texture of the liquid, I had wrongfully believed that this would be the proper grouping for it. That was, of course, until I found out about the grain group.

For many people, the Grain Group is considered the big dick swinging bully of the food pyramid. That is the truth. Taking up the entirety of the bottom row of the pyramid, the grain group would straight up ice the rest of the groupings in a fight. With such volume needed each day, the grain group surely would house such a common every day “food” such as the “egg”. This seemed more and more plausible after it was discovered that grain enters the chicken via the beak and “eggs” leave via the anus. Therefore the “egg” must be the final form of grain. Such as how a single seed can transform into an ear of corn. But that is not the way digestion and transmutation work. There is some sort of dark magic that occurs within the chicken to transform the grain. Science has not found us any definite answers yet but as far as we know, the chicken stomach contains a small melting cauldron that transforms the grain into the things we call “eggs”. The only two options remaining are the fruit group and the vegetable group.

Researching into the fruit group, I discovered that fruits are technically seed bearing structures that develop from plants. Chickens are not technically plants so therefore “eggs” are not fruits.

The final group does not seem promising based on the analysis of the fruit group. But we can compare “eggs” to foods that are very well known as vegetables such as potatoes. Potatoes and “eggs” are actually very similar. Both are an oblong shape, neither one has a developed brain nor can either one move on its own. For culinary uses both “foods” have many uses and can be eaten in many ways. Potatoes can be eaten as fries, chips, tater tots, or even just as a baked potato. “Eggs” can be eaten deviled, over easy, scrambled, or simply just hard boiled. One may think that there are far more reasons “eggs” and potatoes are different than similar. But, this final point proves beyond any doubt that “eggs” should be classified as vegetables. Potatoes when left in a warm, humid environment can grow new potatoes from the original central potato. “Eggs” when left in a warm, humid environment can grow baby chickens which in turn can produce more “eggs” all from the original central “egg”.

With non refutable evidence such as seen above, “eggs” and potatoes must be in the same group and because potatoes are indisputably members of the vegetable group, “eggs” must be technically considered vegetables.

As a sports enthusiast, I love the idea of tracking technology. Give me all the stats that I don’t need just so I can brag about the speed Connor McJesus is flying down the ice at. Like fuck, the kid is younger than me skating at 25 MPH!!!! If I were to come close to 10 MPH, I would need a JUUL ASAP!!! HOWEVER, THIS AIN’T IT CHEIF. I’m not that stupid NHL.

This new tracking technology IS for the faint of heart. C’mon, If you can’t tell the difference between these placers on the ice, especially during the ALL-STARS weekend, simply stop watching hockey. I need something more than names and where the puck is located. Does the NHL really think their viewers are that dumb? Give me the number of times someone has called Sidney a pussy or the speed of Sidney after someone has called him a pussy. Like… does that motivate him??? I need true next gen stats!!!! What next gen stats are you looking for? Can we get a how many shots the goalie has taken in the nuts or maybe the amount of time Tom Wilson has hit someone in the head without getting called?

THIS LOOKS STUPID!!!!!!!

I really don’t know where to begin. Yeah, not having to work another day in your life after 30 sounds great. If you are single loner with no ambition to leave your house or consume any entertainment then yeah it “should” work.

$25,000 to $27,000 a year based on a family of three. These people must be starving themselves. What do you eat? Salad everyday? You have a kid! Like that kid might need 60 cents a day from the commercials to survive. Another family, $44,500 a year with two kids. If you watch the video you can see these kids eat almond shakes everyday, with a side of salad. Like are these kids even going to grow. I’m sure when these kids get older they are just going to look at their parents and ask for a real meal for once.

On to the next point, if you enjoy living in a house that looks like a thrift store then this is for you. People might mistake your house for an actually thrift shop. Buying everything used is a great way to save money if you are still living in 1980. You think these kids growing up in 2019 are watching VHS tapes. Scratch that the house has a tube tv with a build in VHS player. These poor kids are going to think they are in another planet when they see DVDs. Kid walks into a 3rd grade class room with everyone dancing to fortnite and snapchatting, and he’s over here listening to WGN 900 on his 1980 walkman, cause his parents don’t believe in spending money. Fuck, these kids will have trouble making friends.

 

Notice that the news anchors are probably in there 60s, which makes this better content. Frugal is an understatement. These people are just living off 25 cent noodles 6 days out of the week, with a salad and almond shake on the 7th.

 

Hello everyone, my name is Worm, and I am a semi-professional Fortnite streamer.  I started streaming in Season 5 after many seasons spent honing my skills, learning builder pro, and have now decided it is my time to shine and bring something new to the streaming scene.  I am not a very conventional streamer, and would never recommend my stream to anyone who can’t handle it.  My stream says Teen Stream, but it is far from it, because I am too lazy to change it on my computer, and Xbox doesn’t let me do it.  I run an R-rated stream where anything goes, if you can’t take the heat get off my stream cause it’ll get hot.  I started with the casual streaming getting a few viewers here and there, but now have added a quality stream series, called “Clappin Cheeks”.  That is what I do on Fortnite, clap cheeks, and I don’t apologize to anyone.  I am not a pusscake and you’ll never see me using garbo Fortnite additions like Turrets and Ice Traps.  I play with a squad of my hometown boys, we say what we want and you gotta deal with it.  If you want a teen stream watch some 12 year old with his parent’s credit card, cause you won’t find that with me.  So without further ado, checkout my stream mixer.com/FreeWorm

“Slightly used” coffin is the way this starts out, so right from the start I’m out. However, if you are the type of person that likes morbid things and death this could be the kink for you. 30 hours in a coffin to win $300. First of all, thats like $10 an hour. You want me to get into a “slightly used” coffin for $10 an hour. You much be out of your fucking mind Six Flags. I thought the motto was “more flags more fun”. This sounds like a death trap.

I know this isnt Wall Street, but the strategy would follow Matthew Mcconaughey in ‘Wolf of Wall Street’. Just rub one out every couple bathroom breaks. Got to keep yourself in check. No one wants to implode inside of a “slightly used” coffin. In a weird way this is what most of us do when we find out about jerking off. Hide around for a couple days cause you think its the best thing since sliced bread.

That got kind of side tracked. Six Flags will provide food and drinks, so you won’t die of starvation. In the end, winning “could” get you $300, two Gold Season parking passes, and a bunch of Fright fest “things”. Also, if more than one person last the 30 hours it turns into a raffle. Might just have to scare off the other competitors. Make some weird noises inside the coffin. I don’t know.

Alright, lets get this out the way real quick. Kanye doesn’t need Kim to make money, to be successful, to be anything. Kanye is a genius. Yeah, he might have gone broke for a bit, but he was trying to start a clothing company. Kim isn’t bailing Kanye out of anything.

Kim is just a pop culture star. With no talents, other than being on Pornhub or reality TV, which isn’t a talent. Kim brings nothing to the table. One might say her wearing the Yeezy brand is her worth, but Kanye could find another person to wear clothing. I need to back track. What do people see in Kim anyway? Kanye just had the Yeezy brand valued at over a billion dollars, plus he produces and raps. Like Kanye… peace that shit. Kim just called Chicago a stripper. Again, are we just going to forget that Kim Kardashian will probably never drop below the 20th most searched term on all porn sites for the rest of human eternity? Yet, she is the one calling her Child a Stripper Name.

Yeah, you might call me a fan boy, but at least I respect talent. I’ve been hearing about a possible divorce and I’m hoping Kanye dodges a bullet called the Kardashian Curse.

If you have any feasible idea why Kanye needs Kim,  please tell me. I do not think Kim is the greatest companion. I would rather have a pet rock than be married to Kim Kardashian.

P.S. Ill be waiting for a Cease and Desist. Kris is going to come find me. Reality TV isn’t even a talent.

Comments Will Be Answered

Names will be referred to as Cain and Abel in the rest of the article. Hope all of you went to Bible Study.

Abel had a girlfriend, who he wanted to propose to in a big way. What bigger way to propose to your girlfriend then in the new Spider-Man video game? Abel tweeted at Insomnia Games asking if they could include an Easter egg with the words “Madison, will you marry me?”. Now, an easter egg is simply just a hidden message filled with images and much more. Its something that isn’t really suppose to be in the game, but the developers throw it in there. The Spider-Man game came out last week and what do you know…

Great!!! She must have said yes right??? Wrong!! Wrong as fuck!!! She dumped him and started dating his brother. So your ex-girlfriend is dating your brother? That is some demonic shit right off the bat. This kids name must be Abel cause his brother Cain just murdered him. How the hell do you take your brothers ex- girlfriend? That must be a magical female.

Finally, the developers found out about this from Abel tweeting them and posting a youtube video. Luckily, developers offered to change the wording. Thank the Lord. I would not be able to live with that inside of my favorite video game. Let alone as you can see his favorite marvel character.

What should the text be changed too? Let us know in the comments!!