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Gone are my days of polishing off an entire case of cheap beer in a day. The nights I finish off a fifth of Jack are now nothing more than stories lost to the pages of time. Waking up at 5AM to shotgun a beer and yell, “GAME DAY!” off the balcony, then proceed to start tailgating a 3PM football game at 6AM just can’t happen anymore. I think it’s time to face the truth and accept the fact that as a newly minted senior, I’m fucking old.

It’s not a question of whether or not I CAN drink an entire case or a whole fifth of whatever, now it’s the question of whether or not I SHOULD be doing that dumb shit. One of the biggest reasons I shouldn’t drink like a baby-faced freshman with the tolerance to match is that the hangovers are just too much to deal with anymore. Just the other day I found myself waking up in the morning with a killer hangover after causally drinking only five beers the night before. At the end of finals the previous semester I stupidly decided to attempt and complete a wizard staff. Not only did I black out by the end of it but I found myself sporting one of the worst hangovers I’ve ever had and it lasted for almost TWO days! What is this shit?! What happened to drinking like a fish the night before and waking up the next day with a hangover that a glass of water and a couple of ibuprofens cures in an hour. Then proceeding to start drinking again and start the cycle all over again.

I honestly don’t know what happened, but I feel like a switch was flipped internally that now says the day after heavy drinking is to be filled with debilitating headaches and nausea instead of a mild head headache and maybe the beer shits. In recent months I find myself actually having to plan out the nights I intend on getting shit-faced around when I have nothing going on the next day to ensure I have adequate time to nurse myself back to full health.

In all honesty, I may have just fallen from the grace of the drinking gods and now they have punished me to be a little bitch when it comes to drinking heavily. Maybe my body has finally decided to revolt against me and take matters into its own hands. “Alright motherfucker, you don’t want to be responsible and start to drink modestly? I got a special surprise for you, dickhead. Try drinking for four straight days when on Day 2 you can’t leave your bed from the headache and vertigo overwhelming your senses.” -Short Round’s body smirks with devilish delight.

All I know is that as I start my senior year of college the pros and cons of drinking heavily have flipped and cons have become almost too much to deal with. A plus for this change in my drinking routine is now I can switch from quantity to quality. I have to admit it’s nice buying a sixer of a delicious craft brew and achieving the same effect that I would get after drinking half a case of Keystone. Buying a bottle of Buffalo Trace (if you don’t know what this is I highly recommend you figure it out) and enjoying in on the rocks is ten times better then a handle of Old Crow mixed with coke (not that coke, you degenerates) to make it halfway drinkable.

The days of excessively drinking copious amounts of Keystone may be behind me but it still doesn’t mean I can’t take the hit of a terrible hangover to put one of the loud-mouth, young bucks in their place from time to time.

If you are looking for a new artist, Juice WRLD is the hottest shit right now. All Girls Are The Same and Lucid Dreams are singles that have made Spotify playlists. The album offers more then just that with singing and more hard hitting bangers.

Give the album a listen on Spotify or Apple Music!

With Post Malone’s new sad boy music album, I need something new from Post. Not that it wasn’t a good album, but I need something from Murda Beatz and Post. Now, Murda Beatz latest work was Nice For What. If you haven’t heard this song its just trap beats over Lauryn Hill ex-factor. If you don’t believe me go give that song a listen.

Now, what I would like Murda Beatz and Post Malone to do is the song Rockstar by Nickelback. I don’t care what you have to say about Nickelback cause if you put Post’s vocals on it it will hit top 25 no doubt. Murda Beatz please just throw some trap on the production of Rockstar. Post can then get in the studio and just master that song with the same lyrics.

Don’t tell me you wouldn’t want to hear Post singing “Cause we all just wanna be big Rockstars….. driving 15 cars.” Post sings all the time about gold digger’s and I’m sure Post wouldn’t mind some bleach blond Playboy models. I mean this could be the biggest hit of the summer. It’s a perfect  combination of Post Malone and the Oldies. I think this is a 90’s kids wet dream.

Please share with Murda Beatz and Post, so we can make this happen.

Gone are my days of polishing off an entire case of cheap beer in a day. The nights I finish off a fifth of Jack are now nothing more than stories lost to the pages of time. Waking up at 5AM to shotgun a beer and yell, “GAME DAY!” off the balcony, then proceed to start tailgating a 3PM football game at 6AM just can’t happen anymore. I think it’s time to face the truth and accept the fact that as a newly minted senior, I’m fucking old.

It’s not a question of whether or not I CAN drink an entire case or a whole fifth of whatever, now it’s the question of whether or not I SHOULD be doing that dumb shit. One of the biggest reasons I shouldn’t drink like a baby-faced freshman with the tolerance to match is that the hangovers are just too much to deal with anymore. Just the other day I found myself waking up in the morning with a killer hangover after causally drinking only five beers the night before. At the end of finals the previous semester I stupidly decided to attempt and complete a wizard staff. Not only did I black out by the end of it but I found myself sporting one of the worst hangovers I’ve ever had and it lasted for almost TWO days! What is this shit?! What happened to drinking like a fish the night before and waking up the next day with a hangover that a glass of water and a couple of ibuprofens cures in an hour. Then proceeding to start drinking again and start the cycle all over again.

I honestly don’t know what happened, but I feel like a switch was flipped internally that now says the day after heavy drinking is to be filled with debilitating headaches and nausea instead of a mild head headache and maybe the beer shits. In recent months I find myself actually having to plan out the nights I intend on getting shit-faced around when I have nothing going on the next day to ensure I have adequate time to nurse myself back to full health.

In all honesty, I may have just fallen from the grace of the drinking gods and now they have punished me to be a little bitch when it comes to drinking heavily. Maybe my body has finally decided to revolt against me and take matters into its own hands. “Alright motherfucker, you don’t want to be responsible and start to drink modestly? I got a special surprise for you, dickhead. Try drinking for four straight days when on Day 2 you can’t leave your bed from the headache and vertigo overwhelming your senses.” -Short Round’s body smirks with devilish delight.

All I know is that as I start my senior year of college the pros and cons of drinking heavily have flipped and cons have become almost too much to deal with. A plus for this change in my drinking routine is now I can switch from quantity to quality. I have to admit it’s nice buying a sixer of a delicious craft brew and achieving the same effect that I would get after drinking half a case of Keystone. Buying a bottle of Buffalo Trace (if you don’t know what this is I highly recommend you figure it out) and enjoying in on the rocks is ten times better then a handle of Old Crow mixed with coke (not that coke, you degenerates) to make it halfway drinkable.

The days of excessively drinking copious amounts of Keystone may be behind me but it still doesn’t mean I can’t take the hit of a terrible hangover to put one of the loud-mouth, young bucks in their place from time to time.

Now, I don’t want to jump the shark here, but Lebron was dishing out more dimes then Kris Jenner tonight. Teammates actually hit shots too. If you were to look at the Cavs as a whole team other than Lebron, its a group of rec league basketball players. Just throwing this out there if the Cavs need a spot up shooter, I will accept a 10 day minimum contract.  I haven’t played rec league since 8th grade, but I would give you at least 1 point and 6 hard fouls. In grade school, I sat on the bench A LOT. However, when coach needed a shutdown defender I was getting some time on the hardwood.

Besides the point of me trying to get a ten day contract, Lebron IS going to make this group of rec league basketball player Eastern Conference Finals Champs. You just can’t stop the king. It’s actually kinda funny when you think about it. Yeah, we will probably get swept in the Finals, but who cares. I think he just likes taking a group of scrubs to the finals.

Lebron if you are reading this don’t pass the ball in one of the games. All you need is to drop 60 and the sports world will go nuts. You can then get swept and go to whichever team you want and win a Finals then. There is no pressure on the King.